[Principal Clark] It's the day before winter break.
Nobody expects you to learn anything.
All you gotta do is watch a holiday special
and eat snacks till 3:00 p.m.
But somehow, some way, on this blow-off day of all blow-off days
you get sent to the principal's office.
It wasn't my fault.
It's-It's like I told Mr. Bonner. I don't know how it happened.
- [students screaming] - [alarm blaring]
Just like you didn't know who was running
that McCallister Elementary "pay-to-play" Little League scam.
That was a mystery.
Or who printed up fake rewards cards for Yo-Go-Rama.
Okay, for the record, yogurt prices are ridiculous these days.
Andy,
you are smart and charming,
and I truly believe there's nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it.
But you keep putting your mind to the wrong stuff.
[cries] Look, I-I swear, Principal Clark.
I'm not a bad kid.
[blows nose]
Ah-- Oh.
[Andy crying, sniffling]
Why don't you use this break as a kind of a reset button?
We can put all of this in the past.
But I want you to think about
the kind of kid you want to be next semester.
Do you wanna be the conniving, scheming con man,
or do you wanna be something better?
I wanna be something better.
I-- I can change, Principal Clark.
[sniffs] I know I can.
- [sniffs] - [tuts] Please. No boogers on the blazer.
[sighs]
Tears were a nice touch.
So, you get it?
Dulce, who you talking to?
[crying] I-- I can change, Principal Clark. I know I can.
Please, no boogers on the blazer.
The confiscation closet holds every item ever unjustly snatched
from a student's hand.
It's the biggest job we've ever pulled.
[exhales] And today's our last chance to pull it.
It's the end of the semester,
which means the school's gonna empty out the closet
and give all of our stuff to charity.
We can't let that happen. How much time do we have?
I'm not a bad kid.
[blows nose]
Pick-up's at 2:45.
That gives us five minutes to pull this off. You ready?
I was born ready. [chuckles]
See you on the other side.
[movie character 1] Say, "Thank you, Santa Claus."
- [movie character 2] Thank you. - [Santa Claus] Bye. Merry Christmas.
Well, young lady, what's your name?
I'm sorry, she doesn't speak English. She's Dutch.
She's just come over.
Shouldn't you be in class?
Uh... [chuckles]
She's been living in an orphan's home in Rotterdam ever since--
Well, we've adopted her.
It's the day before winter break.
Nobody expects you to learn anything. All you gotta do is watch a--
[students groaning, shouting]
This is Principal. I want you to blow off the day before 3:00 p.m.
See you next semester.
[students cheering]
Uh-- Hey, what are you all doing?
Whoo-hoo! [laughs]
Do not make me call your parents over this break! Get back here!
[laughs] I can't believe we actually pulled this off.
[Principal Clark] Hey!
- What are you doing with that cart? - Nothing.
Andy, we just talked about this.
- And now I catch you with-- - No, Principal Clark. Don't--
[Principal Clark, Dulce] Cookies?
I mean, I knew they were there.
I-- It was a surprise for you and the staff.
You guys work so hard. I just wanted to show our appreciation.
Well, that's very nice of you, Andy. I'll make sure the staff gets them.
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
[grunts, laughs]
- Where did you-- How did you-- - [chuckles]
I can't believe we actually pulled this off.
But what about the stuff? How are we gonna get it out?
[Andy] The janitor's gonna carry it out for us.
Andy, what do we have for Lewis?
Please tell me it's my dad's drone.
I wasn't supposed to take it, but I took it.
And then Mrs. Noober saw it and she took it.
Hurry it up, son. Some of us got places to be.
- Albert, chill. You'll get your turn. - Don't tell me to chill. I invented chill.
Bam.
[sighing]
You saved my butt big time.
If my dad found out about this, I'd get in so much trouble.
We're talking Naughty List for sure.
Did you know the government pays the Internet
to block the location of Santa's village-- [shouts]
Andy, you got a slingshot in there for me, my man?
No money, no slingshot, my man.
Five bucks.
But I don't have this many bucks. [sniffs]
[Andy] Sweet Lord.
Have you ever seen a face that adorable?
I-- It's breaking my heart. Just give it to him. Give it to him.
[chuckles] Here you go. One slingshot.
Thanks a lot, suckers.
Deuces! [laughing]
Hey, hey! You owe us!
[Dulce] I can't believe you just blew your cut of the money
on a game for a console you don't even have.
Your parents are never gonna buy it.
[chuckles] It's too expensive.
Which is why I sent Santa a letter last week asking for it.
Backup plan. I like it.
I mailed the big guy back in November.
Santa's my only chance of getting an archery set.
My parents think it's too dangerous.
- [laughs] It is too dangerous. - That's why I want it.
I gotta admit that cookie move was a stroke of genius.
If Clark had busted us for taking that stuff,
we would've been in so much trouble.
We didn't take that stuff.
We took it back.
We returned those lost treasures to their owners.
We did a good thing today, Dulce.
Heck yeah, we did.
Merry Christmas, Dulce!
Merry Christmas, Andy. [chuckles]
- [people shouting] - [lock clicking]
[doorbell rings]
Hey! Door's locked. Let me in.
[people laughing, chattering]
[knocking]
So, Andy, how was school today?
Anything exciting happen?
Uh, school was fine, Laurel.
Really? 'Cause Stacy Wilcox told me that Jessica Chen told her
that Mateo Garcia's little sister said
that you got sent to the principal's office.
- You got sent to the principal? - Again? Is that true?
[stammers, sighs]
Well, yes. It's-- It's true.
Principal Clark was having trouble with her Wi-Fi
and all the other kids wanted to watch a movie.
So, I volunteered to help her.
Andy,
you are so thoughtful.
- [Andy] Aw. - [chuckles]
What? You don't actually believe this, do you?
Well, he is the one who always fixes the Wi-Fi around here.
- [grunts] - Who wants brussels sprouts?
You know I do. Can't get enough of those veggies.
[sighs]
Hey, Andy.
Did you know if someone looks up and towards the right while talking,
there's an 80% chance they're lying?
Well, that's a fascinating factoid, Laurel.
- Hmm. - You know, I heard that if someone wastes
their first night of winter break reading a book about how to spot liars,
there's a 100% chance they're a loser.
Listen, I know what you tried to do at dinner tonight,
and I respect it.
But you will never, ever beat me.
I'm too smooth,
too smart.
I'll always be one step ahead.
You may have Mom and Dad fooled, but not me.
Just 'cause you don't get caught
- doesn't mean you don't do bad things. - Agree to disagree.
One of these days you're gonna push it too far.
Your lies and schemes, they'll blow up in your face.
And I'll be there.
And I will laugh so hard.
Well, you're gonna have to wait a long time. Maybe forever.
Do you know what I would do if I were you?
Is just go on living my life
- like it's not gonna happen-- - [groans]
[chuckles]
[sighs]
[Andy's mom] A flying reindeer? [laughs]
[Andy's dad] That's what he said.
The last thing we need is for it to get out
that a World Express pilot thinks a flying reindeer clipped his wing.
It sounds like Bruno's been flying that northern route too long.
[chuckles] Crazy thing is,
the dent in the plane did look like hoof prints.
Christmas!
Everybody up! It's Christmas, people!
[yawns]
[rattles]
Tiny Blox.
[rattles]
Tiny Blox.
[rattles]
Tiny Blox. Was there a sale on Tiny Blox or something?
[grunting, sighing]
- Where's the good stuff? [sighs] - [train whistle blows]
No way. [gasps]
This is the leotard for the state gymnastics team. [chuckles]
I thought we were waiting for her to actually make the team
before we got her one.
I didn't get it for her.
Maybe your mother got it.
W-What does the tag say, sweetheart?
Um--
"To Laurel from Santa."
Thanks, "Santa."
There's nothing here.
Why-Why didn't Santa bring me anything?
Maybe because he doesn't bring gifts to naughty kids.
Your brother is not naughty.
Really? Then why didn't "Santa" get him anything?
- Who wants pancakes? - I'll help.
Why would your mother buy something for Laurel but not for Andy?
We don't know this was my mother.
Remember when I said this was gonna catch up with you and I was gonna laugh?
Well, this is me laughing.
[laughing]
Santa.
Look what I got.
It's exactly what I wanted.
That's so cool. Go show Dad.
- Dad, look. - Let me see.
- Let's see what else Santa brought. - Yeah, go sit down.
- [sibling] Santa got my wish. - [phone rings]
[sibling] This looks so cool!
- You're not gonna believe this. - Santa stiffed you?
Santa stiffed me.
Wait, you too?
No bow, no arrows. Nothing.
I always get a gift from him.
Why not this year?
Unless...
[both] The Naughty List.
You came to the right place, my friends.
Everybody thinks Christmas time is about peace on Earth and good will toward men.
But it's actually about mind control.
Mind control?
Just as every culture has their version of Santa Claus,
they also have a myth created to scare kids into behaving.
In Germany it's Krampus, & Italy it's Le Befana .
In other place it's Santa Kroshu.
But they're all different forms of the same thing.
- The Naughty List. - So the Naughty List is just a myth?
That's what I thought until I looked deeper.
Got this bad boy from Santa.
Two terabyte hard drive, one terabyte of RAM.
Sixty-four core CR-990 CPU--
- Uh-- Okay, Lewis. - Right.
Check this out.
Ooh.
Yeah, I don't know what I'm looking at here.
It's an algorithm I wrote.
It crawls the web, searching message boards, social media, videos--
any place a kid can complain about not getting anything from Santa.
This is the Naughty List.
Huh. Look at 'em all.
I-- There must be thousands.
[Lewis] Over a million.
At least that's how many I've found so far.
S-- This is wrong.
Uh. No, it's correct. At least within a margin of error--
No, I'm not talking about your algorithm.
I'm-I'm talking about the Naughty List.
I'm talking about stiffing kids at Christmas.
Since when does Santa Claus get to decide who deserves presents and who doesn't?
Since always. Hello?
"He knows you're sleeping. He knows you're awake."
Lewis.
I-If Santa didn't deliver our gifts, where are they?
If they never left his workshop, then they must still be there.
[chuckles]
Wait, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?
They're all just sitting there.
Everything we wanted.
You were thinking what I thought you were thinking.
Andy, this isn't like sneaking into the confiscation closet.
But it is.
The idea is exactly the same except the payoff is way bigger.
Dulce, Santa took Christmas from us.
Let's take it back.
Even if there was a warehouse full of undelivered Christmas presents,
i-it's not like we know where it is.
I know where it is.
Before I tell you, you have to promise to take me with.
I-I don't know.
Lewis, you're not even on the Naughty List.
- You wanna be a part of a job like this? - Absolutely.
I spent three years searching for proof of Santa's village.
I have to see it for myself.
If you show us where the presents are, I promise I'll take you.
I've been monitoring this spot 24-7.
And the only time it ever changes is December 24th at 11:59 and 59 seconds.
That's when this happens.
- What was that? - That is Santa's village.
[both] No way!
Wait. Lewis, can you filter the Naughty List by location?
Uh, of course. Why?
Because if we're gonna sneak into the North Pole,
it's gonna take the best team I've ever assembled.
In addition to us, we need a gymnast, an adorable innocent,
an animal whisperer, a master of disguise, and a pilot.
That's eight. Who's the ninth?
The getaway driver.
Who are you thinking?
Her.
[announcer] On your marks. Get set.
- Go! - [air horn blares]
It's too steep!
[crowd cheers]
[screams, grunts]
Stop.
[groans] She's gonna get chewed up!
[Andy] Keep watching.
- [construction worker] Oh, no. [screams] - Stop! Stop! No!
[racer screams]
[screams, laughs]
[Lewis] Oh!
[groans, grunts]
My bad!
[shivers] How long do we have to sit here?
It's freezing out.
You think this is cold?
You know we're going to the North Pole?
- [passerby] Whoa. - Here we go.
[groans]
Whoa.
- [coach driver groans, sniffles] - Uh-huh.
[coach driver mutters]
Lunchtime. [muttering]
- Hey there, horsey. - [blusters]
You don't like pulling this dumb thing, do you?
[horse nickers]
Did that horse just answer her?
[both shush]
[horse blusters]
[grunts]
- When I say "run," you run. - [horse nickers]
- Got it? - [horse nickers]
[horse blusters]
- Run! - Hey! My sandwich!
Hey, that's my lunch!
[horse whinnies]
My horse!
- Peaches! Get back here! - [groans]
Mmm. Egg salad.
[coach] All right, Laurel.
Just like we practiced.
You got this.
[breathes shakily]
Hmm.
[breathes shakily]
[coach] Any time.
- [grunts] - [coach] Nice. Okay.
Keep it nice and tucked.
[breathing shakily]
[grunts]
- [gymnast 1 chuckles] - [gymnast 2] Oh, man.
You'll get it next time, Laurel.
Nice dismount.
- I'll get it next time. - Make sure you get a video.
I won't be there to see it 'cause I'll be at the state meet.
[coach] All right, Bethany, you're up.
What are you doing here?
Relax. We're not here for you.
I'm here for her.
[Andy chuckles]
- Wow! - Oh, my gosh.
[applause]
- [crowd cheering] - That's our gymnast, all right.
Wow, this is amazing work.
You designed this all by yourself?
What's the sign say?
"Jon Anthony Originals."
- What's my name? - Jon Anthony.
- What's that make this? - Original?
- You better believe it. - Wow.
- Now you want it or not? - Yeah.
He made these things?
Yeah.
- Kid's got skills. - Huh.
I don't know.
I told that hottie over there I'd sell it to him for 200.
But if you throw cash down right now, I'll do 150.
Deal.
- Nice doing business with ya. - You too, kid.
I can't believe we're wasting a day of winter break on this.
Basements are a great place to find rats.
I hate everything you just said.
[sighs] I still don't get why Albert is here.
Hey, I was gonna eat that!
You snooze, you lose.
But I really, really wanted it.
Aw. D-Don't do that.
Y-You take the cookie. I don't even want it.
Thanks, sucker.
That answer your question?
- Bethany, what are you doing here? - I came for help with my bar routine.
- Seriously? - Ew, no.
- Your brother invited me. - Hmm.
Right this way, Bethany.
We're all gathered in the basement.
- What are you up to? - Up to?
Laurel, my dear sister, when have I ever been up to something?
[groans]
[Albert] Hey, Andy,
why are we kicking it in your basement with stale cookies and a bunch of weirdos?
Every person in this room has one thing in common.
- A tragic sense of style? - What?
- No, we all got stiffed by Santa. - Oh.
What if I told you that if we all work together,
we could still make our Christmas wishes come true?
How?
We're gonna rob the North Pole.
Who's with me?
[kids laugh]
I'm out of here. Can I borrow someone's phone?
I need to call my babysitter.
- [Ha-Yoon] I gotta call someone too. - W-Wait.
Every person in this room wrote a letter or waited in line in some mall
just to ask Santa for the very thing they wanted most in the whole world.
And this year,
every one of us looked under that tree and found nothing from Santa Claus.
If you're okay with that, then leave.
But I'm not.
Show them what you got.
That's a pant-load of Tiny Blox.
There was a huge sale before Christmas.
- I knew it. - Andy, the plan.
Uh, right.
Thanks to Lewis,
we know all of our presents are being held up in a vault here.
Santa's workshop.
It was nothing really,
just some rudimentary magnetic resonance imaging
which allowed me to map the substructure of--
We're all very impressed. Now, stop talking.
If we're gonna have a snowball's chance in Florida of getting into that vault,
we all have to work together.
As far as we know, no human has ever infiltrated Santa's village.
So getting past the guards will be no joke.
Once we're inside, we have to blend in with the other elves.
Jon Anthony, you're on disguise duty.
No problem.
Send me what the other elves are wearing and I'll make it.
That's just it. We don't know exactly what they'll wear.
Can you make something up?
[inhales] Of course, I can. I'm Jon Anthony.
He's Jon Anthony.
Every inch of the village will be covered in surveillance.
If we don't shut down the cameras by the time we get to that vault,
we'll be busted faster than a kid shaking presents on Christmas Eve.
What about me? What am I doing here?
The entrance to the vault is across an ice chasm.
We need someone with serious aerial skills
to flip to the other side and raise the bridge.
Luckily,
we have one of the best 4A gymnasts in Massachusetts.
I think you mean "the best."
Of course, getting our stuff is only half the battle.
Our getaway driver has to get us and the loot
down the mountain before anybody realizes we're there.
[Ha-Yoon] How do you know?
[Dulce] Lewis has been studying the North Pole for years.
[sighs] Look, I'm gonna level with you.
This is the most complicated heist I've ever planned.
It's gonna be tough.
It's gonna be risky.
If we get caught, we could end up grounded for life.
But if we pull this off,
it'll be the best Christmas we never had.
Who's with me?
I'm in.
Me too.
Fine.
Hmm. Sure. I've got nothing better to do.
- Bethany? - [Bethany] Whatever.
I already told everybody I was getting a new phone.
Can't go back to school in January without it, can I?
- [all cheering] Yes! Whoo! Let's go! - Yeah.
[Laurel] You're not listening!
I'm telling you, he's up to something!
Laurel, why do you always think your brother's doing something bad?
Because he is.
He's in the basement right now cooking up some scheme.
Just go look, will you?
Fine.
Yes!
Hey, Mom, Laurel.
Uh, you wanna join our recycling club?
[chuckling] Recycling club? Are you kidding me?
Yeah, we're using the money we raise
to put a new table in the cafeteria for kids with no friends.
And I'm dedicating it to Mom and Dad,
who nourish me with love.
Aw.
You are not buying this!
- My sweet boy. - Mom. [grunts]
Bye.
[sighs]
- [Andy sighs] - That was close.
[Andy] All right. Back to business.
We meet at the bus stop first thing Friday morning.
We're gonna be gone overnight, so we're gonna need alibis.
The person in your folder
is who you're having a sleepover with Friday night.
At least, that's what you'll tell your parents.
Give them the phone number listed at the bottom.
That number will call my phone.
I'll pretend to be a parent.
She's a master of the Mom Voice.
No way that's gonna work.
Bethany Ann, don't you dare give me that attitude.
I work too stinkin' hard for too stinkin' long
to come home to this malarkey.
I'm sorry, Mommy.
I mean, that could work.
What about you? Who are your parents gonna call?
I'm one of five kids.
No one will even notice I'm gone.
Read your alibi. Memorize it, then--
- Swallow it. - What?
No.
Just, like, flush it down the toilet or something.
Just don't let your parents find it.
Uh. Yes, Rose?
I've never had a sleepover before
because most of my friends sleep in wood chips,
because they're rodents.
My parents are gonna know something's up.
[Andy] How about this?
Tell them you're spending the night at an animal shelter
'cause there's a dog with a hurt paw.
Oh, is it gonna be okay?
What? No, there's no dog.
It's just a story to tell them.
Oh, that's a good story.
[stammers] They'll totally believe it.
I believed it. [chuckles]
- [Rose] Bye! - [Andy] Bye!
[Ha-Yoon] See you tomorrow.
Bye!
- [Jon Anthony] Can't wait to rob Santa. - [Lewis] Keep it down.
I can't believe none of them asked how we're getting to the North Pole.
[chuckles] Yeah.
Wait. How are we getting to the North Pole?
I was pretty surprised when you said you wanted to come to work with me today.
[Andy] Oh, are you kidding?
I've been dying to see
what a "Manager of Cargo Operations and Distribution" does.
Okay, fine. [chuckles]
I just wanted to get away from Laurel. She's the worst.
You know, when I was your age,
I used to fight with your uncle Dave all the time.
But if I'm being honest,
I think I tried to drive him crazy because I wanted him to like me.
I looked up to him.
That's a great story, Dad.
Hmm.
I'm not sure how it applies to me, but I really enjoyed hearing it.
[sighs]
[scanner beeps]
Hey, Dad. I gotta go to the bathroom.
Oh, there's one right through that door.
Cool. [grunts] Might take me a while. Gotta make a two-sies.
Okay. Didn't need to know that.
[beeps]
[pilot snoring]
[grunts]
- [thuds] - [grunts]
- You Bruno? - How'd you get back here?
I wanna know more about that flying reindeer you saw.
[shushes] Don't talk about that.
They already think I'm losing it,
and they're not gonna let me fly again until I pass a psychological evaluation.
What if I told you I could get you proof that what you saw was real?
I'm listening.
[beeping]
We've got our pilot.
We've got a problem. Bethany backed out.
What?
She whined until her parents bought her the phone she wanted.
- Can we pull this off without a gymnast? - No way.
We're just gonna have to find another one.
- I know somebody. - Who?
Where do they live?
Down the hall from you.
No, I'm not asking her. She'll never do it.
You have to try.
[sighs]
- Get out. - No, it's true, Laurel. I swear.
I got a pilot from Dad's work to fly us up to the North Pole.
But our entire plan is in danger because Bethany dropped out.
You expect me to believe that Bethany was going to help you with this?
She was, but she backed out because--
because she was scared she couldn't pull it off.
Bethany isn't scared of anything.
She is of this.
But I told her it was okay because I could go to the best gymnast I know. You.
And of course, Bethany was like, "Laurel?
She does not have the skills necessary for this job."
Doesn't have the skills? I am ten times better than her.
I've just been a little off lately. That's all.
That's what I told her.
I was like, "Laurel can do this and when she does,
you're gonna know that she stepped up when you chickened out."
[Laurel] Fine. I'll help.
- Really? - But not for you.
I'm going so I can rub it in Bethany's face.
No, no, I'm okay with Laurel sleeping over.
It's just, I didn't think the girls really, you know, liked each other.
[Dulce] Oh, you know girls, Linda.
We were that age once. Tweens. Not quite teens, not quite weens.
Weens?
[Dulce] Oh, I better go. My--
My husband is messing something up again. Argh. Husbands, am I right?
Yeah. [chuckles]
Thanks, Mom. [chuckles]
When did you and Bethany start getting along?
Uh, uh... [chuckles]
Oh, um, they, uh-- They patched things up. Yeah.
I really have to give Laurel credit. She was the bigger person.
We could all learn a thing or two from her.
[chuckles]
Aw. Have fun, honey.
[chuckles]
- [whispers] You're frightening. - [whispers] Thank you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing? You're gonna get me busted.
Sorry, I got caught up in the moment.
All right, just follow me and stay quiet.
[engine starts]
[sighs]
How those disguises coming?
Almost done.
All right, good 'cause, um, you know, I haven't seen the whole outfit yet.
Andy, you're cute, but you're in my space. Let me work.
Right, yeah. Okay, no problem.
Stupid antique clasps.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but next time I'm going Velcro.
Everything okay?
[sighs] Can you keep a secret?
[snorts] Does a horned lizard squirt blood from its eyelids when threatened?
I don't know.
The answer is, yes it does. [chuckles] And-- And, yes, I can.
[inhales] Okay. I have no idea what I'm doing.
I've never actually designed anything myself.
My Jon Anthony Originals?
All copies.
I'm a fake. A fraud.
I don't know what elves wear, I just made this up.
Isn't that what an original is?
You don't understand anything.
[sighs] Try this on.
Man, I can't wait to get my hands on that archery set.
[chuckles] I gotta be honest, I have mixed feelings about helping you get this bow.
Your dads are gonna be furious.
At least they'll be something.
I asked for bounce shoes.
I'm gonna be like a kangaroo on cold brew.
[all chuckle]
Santa was supposed to bring me a drum set.
I wanted an albino boa constrictor. [chuckles]
Get back in there.
What about you, Laurel? What didn't Santa bring you?
She got everything she wanted. Laurel's not on the Naughty List.
- Lucky. - It's not luck. I just follow the rules.
What if the rules are unfair?
They're rules, Andy. You follow them because it's the right thing to do.
I like doing the right thing. It makes me feel good.
But sometimes the rule's just there to keep you from getting what you want.
I mean, you're breaking a rule right now just by coming with us.
Doesn't feel so bad, does it?
Uh...
- [gasps] - [Lewis] Wow! Wow!
- I think that looks perfect. - Yeah.
[chuckles]
What do you think?
Somebody say something.
If I were an elf, I'd wear that.
[all chuckle]
I'm not an elf and I'd wear that.
[chuckles] Shut up.
Keep your hats on at all times.
If anybody sees we don't have pointy elf ears, we're busted.
[Bruno] Whoa! Guys, get up here. You're gonna wanna see this!
- [gasps] Wow! - Wow! Look at that!
- The northern lights! - [Rose gasps, chuckles]
[all cheering] Oh. Wow.
[Laurel] Look at all those colors!
- Wow. - [Rose] It's amazing.
[Laurel] It's so pretty.
- Wow. - Oh, goodness.
It's beautiful.
- [all cheering] Wow. - It's so beautiful.
[tower on radio] Unidentified aircraft, you have entered restricted airspace.
- Turn back immediately. - What do I do?
Uh, tell them you're having mechanical problems. You need to land.
North Pole Tower. This is World Express 4-0-niner.
I'm having a bit of a situation. My plane is very sick.
- What? - Sick? Sick?
[tower] Uh, please repeat. Did you say your plane is very sick?
- What are you doing? - I'm a terrible liar.
Let me handle this. [grunting]
- [breathes shakily] - What are you doing?
We're gonna need to land immediately.
Sorry, I didn't mean to.
It's-- It's okay.
- It's gonna be okay! It's gonna be fine! - [all screaming]
Come on, just hold on! We're gonna be fine!
[all clamoring, screaming]
[engine sputters]
[tires screeching]
[sirens wailing]
[Bruno] Hey there.
Anybody else on the plane with you?
Uh, just me. Nobody else.
Well, unless you count the packages, then it's me and the packages.
But if not, then it's just me.
[gasps]
[grunts]
Looks like I found what's wrong with your plane.
[radio chatter]
Huh.
Shouldn't take more than a couple of hours to fix.
Great, thanks. [breathes deeply]
Okay. Come on, guys.
[Dulce breathes heavily] I thought we were busted for sure.
- [Andy] That was close. - [Laurel] Let's not do that again.
You heard them. We only have two hours to bust into Santa's village,
get the presents and get back to the plane.
Then what are we waiting for?
Set a timer.
Two hours.
On my mark. Go.
[timers beeping]
[timer beeping]
[kids panting, groaning]
The entrance to Santa's village should be just on the other side of these woods.
I can't believe I'm actually here.
Do you think Santa will take a selfie with me?
Okay, no one is meeting Santa.
The whole point is to get in and get out without meeting anyone.
- Check it out. [chuckles] - [Andy] Whoa.
Holy night!
- Wow. - [chuckles]
It's real.
[chuckles] Wait, you came all the way up here
and you didn't believe any of this was real?
Why would you do that?
So I could say I told you so when it wasn't. [chuckles]
[chuckles]
Wow.
[kids cheering, laughing]
Whoa!
[all laughing]
[chuckling]
[beeping]
Albert, you're up.
Hit us on the walkie if you see anything out of the ordinary.
Mm-hmm.
[sighs]
If I see anything out of the ordinary.
I'm at the North Pole about to break into Santa's village.
This whole situation is out of the ordinary.
[Christmas music playing]
[Albert crying]
For the love of Santa, what is that?
[crying]
- [crying] - [gasps]
It's a kid. Like a human kid.
What are you doing all the way up here, little fella?
I was with my mommy. And now I'm lost. [crying]
- Just calm down. I gotta call this in. - [radio beeps]
[crying]
Oh, okay, okay. I-- I can call this in later.
Hey, let's get you inside and warmed up, huh?
[crying]
Get some cookies in that tum-tum of yours?
[cries] Mm-hmm. And cocoa? [cries]
Yeah, this is the North Pole. Cocoa comes out of our tap here. [chuckles]
Watch your stepping.
[pants]
[camera whirring]
Lewis, time to cut off those cameras. You've one hour.
I'm on it. Good luck, Andy.
[Andy chuckles]
Ha-Yoon, Rose, find the reindeer stables and secure a getaway sleigh.
That's what I'm here for.
I've always wanted to talk to a reindeer.
[Andy chuckles]
And what about us?
We get to the workshop as quick as possible without anybody seeing us.
[panting]
[all gasping, chuckling]
- [Laurel chuckles] Oh, my gosh. - Whoa.
Geez.
[chuckles]
[Jon Anthony grunts]
[Dulce] Oh, why is this place so quiet?
It's right after Christmas. Maybe they're all resting.
This is perfect. No one will even know we're here.
So I made these outfits for nothing? [sighs]
[beeping]
We just have to cut through this, and the workshop won't be far.
- Wow! - [chuckling]
- [chuckles] - [dance music playing]
Do you hear music?
["Holla for the Holidays" playing on speakers]
♪ Gonna dance till our feet give up ♪
♪ Everybody out there Raise your hands in the air ♪
♪ And holla ♪
♪ For the holidays, for the holidays ♪
♪ All the lovers and friends We're together again ♪
♪ So holla ♪
- [record scratches] - [music stops]
Think I know why the rest of the town was so quiet.
[chuckles] Hey, everybody.
- We don't look anything like them. - [grunts]
I don't recognize a single one of you.
[breathes shakily] Look, man, we've been down in Cleveland on mall duty.
Our flight was delayed. Our rental sleigh broke a runner,
and I haven't had a decent glass of nog in I-I don't know how long.
J-Just cut us some slack, will you?
[chuckles] I'm just roasting your chestnuts, buddy.
We've got the best eggnog north of the 66th parallel.
- [Christmas music playing] - Join the party!
- Oh, no. Uh, we need to-- - Don't be ridiculous.
Come on, friends. Nog's this way.
[elves chattering in various languages]
This is like--
- The greatest Christmas party ever! - [chuckles]
You mean after Christmas party.
[kids chuckle]
- Oh. Love the outfits, by the way. - Thanks. I made them.
You did not! Oh!
Hey, check it out. He made these. This guy's a regular Elf Saint Laurent.
[all] Oh. Wow.
[elf] Check out my dance moves!
We do not have time for this.
[sighs]
♪ Tonight, it feels like Christmas Eve ♪
[gasps] There! That'll lead us right to the workshop. [sighs]
This was not part of the plan.
[sighs]
Oh, look!
[chuckling]
[animal grunting]
[gasps]
[reindeer grunts]
[chuckles]
Okay. Let's grab us a couple of these bad boys and hit the road.
Oh. Wait. You can't just go in there. Reindeer are very sensitive animals.
You have to gain their...
[grunts]
...trust.
Easy. [chuckles] Good reindeer.
"Dasher"?
- You're the for real Dasher? - [Dasher grunts]
- Yo! You're, like, legit famous! - [snorts]
[grunts]
- Uh-oh... - [grunts]
[screams]
[imitates reindeer]
[pants]
- [imitates reindeer] - [Dasher grunts]
[chuckles]
Rose... [chuckles] ...that was incredible.
You just startled him. He didn't mean to scare you. [chuckles]
Pfft. [chuckles] I wasn't scared.
- [Dasher grunts] - [screams]
[chuckles]
[Dasher grunting]
[Christmas music playing]
There you go, little guy.
- You all warmed up? Feeling better? - Mm-hmm.
But my tootsies are a little bit cold.
Oh. Let me take care of that for ya.
[sighs] There. That better?
Much.
[yawns]
Oh, no, we're running out of time.
[pants] "Tech support."
"Maintenance."
"Security." That's it!
- [chattering] - [ "Share My Christmas with You" playing]
♪ And I wanna share This Christmas with you ♪
♪ Christmas ♪
♪ This Christmas ♪
Can I interest you in bibingka?
You've gotta be kidding me.
This is the best bibingka I've ever tasted.
Don't tell my lola I said that.
Mmm.
[singing "Arre Borriquito" in Spanish]
[all cheering]
[snores, moans]
[chewing]
[snoring]
[beeping]
[Andy] Where are they?
So glad you could be here with us.
Oh, to be honest, I hadn't planned on it.
Oh, nonsense.
You spent all year working hard so Santa could spread joy to the world.
You deserve this.
[record scratching]
[conga music playing]
Conga!
[elves cheering]
[elves] Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Come on!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
All right, five minutes. I can do this.
Santa's workshop camera. Where are you? Where are--
What the what?
- Are they dancing? - [conga music playing]
[elves] Hey! Hey!
Hey!
[laughs]
[Andy] Are you having fun?
No. Okay, maybe a little.
Andy, isn't this awesome?
No. We have to go.
[Laurel] Buzzkill.
Come on. We're behind schedule.
The shortcuts will take us straight to the workshop.
[sighs] I thought they were never going to leave.
Now, let's shut off the cameras.
There's gotta be a master shutdown switch here somewhere.
- Uh... - [beeping]
[muttering]
[gasps] He's coming. Uh-oh.
Uh. [groaning]
[typing]
- [groaning, whimpering] - [door shuts]
[footsteps approaching]
- I thought you said this was a shortcut. - [panting] Trust me.
Going through the mountain's a lot faster than winding your way up it.
[panting] But we have literally climbed a billion stairs.
- Actually, it's more like-- - A billion stairs.
Okay.
[beeping]
Come on. Everybody, focus.
The entrance to the workshop should be right up here.
- [Laurel sighs] - [Jon Anthony groans]
[Laurel, Dulce, Jon Anthony panting]
- Whoa! - [Dulce grunts] Ow.
Why'd you stop?
Lewis was supposed to shut off the cameras.
[camera whirring]
[radio crackles]
[Andy] We're at the workshop. What's going on?
- Lewis. - Somebody there?
Huh. [scoffs]
Must be hearing things.
[whimpers] Oh, no.
[radio static]
I can't reach him.
We're just gonna have to take out that camera ourselves.
[grunts]
[laughs] You have the worst aim in the world.
Let me. [exhales sharply]
[grunts]
Yeah. Nice shot.
Got closer than you did.
Both of you, stop talking.
- [grunts] - [electricity crackles]
- [laughs] - Andy, Laurel, anything you have to say?
- No. - I'm good.
[all panting]
[letter board clacking]
[Andy exhales]
[both gasp]
What is that?
The Naughty List. [pants]
The actual, honest-to-goodness Naughty List.
[exhales sharply]
I guess we really are on it.
Are you okay?
[scoffs] Yeah, I'm fine.
I don't care what Santa thinks.
I just wanna get that game console and get outta here. [sighs]
[sighs]
[clicks, chimes]
[chuckles]
[door creaking]
[all gasp]
We better find that vault soon.
I'm freezing my buns off.
[Andy chuckles] Whoa.
[exhales sharply]
Okay, Laurel,
all you gotta do is gymnastics yourself across the chasm
and pull that lever to raise the drawbridge.
[breathing heavily]
What if I can't do it?
You can.
You saw me at the gym. I can't even stick my dismount.
[stutters] Andy, there's no way.
This-This was a huge mistake.
[sighs]
[beeping]
It's okay.
We'll find another way.
Another way?
You told us this was the only way in.
Now there's suddenly another way?
Why didn't we just take that way to begin with?
I-I'm sorry.
- [sighs] - [Andy] It's okay.
For the record though,
I know you could have m-made it.
[scoffs] How could you know that?
Laurel, the only reason you don't stick your landing
is because you let Bethany get in your head.
You think she's better than you, but she's not.
You're good at everything you put your mind to.
Grades, art, gymnastics.
It's one of your best and most annoying qualities.
Everyone knows how good you are, Laurel.
Why don't you?
[sighs]
- [sighs] - So, what's plan B?
Just give me a second. I'll come up with something.
[trickling]
Laurel, what are you doing?
[gasps]
- [exhales sharply] - [Laurel grunts]
[cracking]
- [grunts, shouts, exhales sharply] - I can't look.
[exhales sharply]
[Dulce] Oh.
- [grunts, pants] - [Andy, Dulce, Jon Anthony chuckle]
I did it!
- [squeals] Yes! Yes! Yes! - [all laugh]
[all breathing heavily]
[chuckles] You're gonna make state for sure.
Yeah, it's a good thing you already have the leotard.
How are we supposed to get into this thing?
Uh...
Andy, I just stuck the best landing of my life.
Tell me you know how to get into this vault.
I'm thinking. I didn't know there'd be a trick to it.
It's a vault. There's always a trick to it.
Just give me a second.
It's not like anyone's broke into Santa's workshop before.
- You know? I-- Lewis didn't-- - [Laurel] Forget Lewis.
You said you had this all planned out.
[Dulce] Birds in a tree, and then birds in a nest.
[Andy, Laurel, Jon Anthony arguing]
What's with all the birds?
Twelve.
[gasps] Wait. I-I know this.
♪ On the first day of Christmas My true love gave to me ♪
♪ A partridge in a pear tree ♪
[chimes]
[whirring]
[gasps] Yes! [laughs]
"Twelve Days of Christmas." The song is the combination.
Nice work, Dulce!
[whirring]
What the heck?
[whirring stops]
[vault locking]
Every time we stop or mess up, we have to start from the beginning?
Then we'd better not mess up.
♪ On the first day of Christmas My true love gave to me ♪
♪ A partridge in a pear tree ♪
[chimes]
[reindeer snorting]
Come on, you dumb donkey.
- We don't have all night. [sighs] - [reindeer snorts]
[imitating reindeer]
[reindeer grunting]
- [imitating reindeer, shouts] - [reindeer snorts]
Why can't you be a dog?
[laughs, snorts]
It's okay. It just takes practice.
[reindeer bellows]
But you are fire with animals.
People have always thought I'm, you know, weird,
but animals are different.
Th-They don't care how I act or dress or how my hair looks
or even if my laugh is kind of funny.
[chuckles]
You show them love, they show you love.
Animals don't care if you're not cool.
I think you're cool.
You do?
I mean, you are weird, but, like-- but, like, cool weird.
- Cool weird. - [snorts]
There. Good to go. [chuckles]
I can't believe I get to drive a flying sleigh.
I think they only fly for Santa.
- For serious? - [reindeer grunting]
♪ On the fourth day of Christmas My true love gave to me ♪
♪ Four calling birds Three French hens ♪
♪ Two turtledoves And a partridge in a pear tree ♪
[chimes]
[whirring]
[beeping]
♪ On the fifth day of Christmas My true love sent to me ♪
♪ Five-- ♪
[breathing shakily]
[sighs]
Shouldn't be here.
[radio clicks, static]
[Ha-Yoon] Sup, my dudes?
- [radio feedback whines] - Whoo-hoo! Whoo.
[Ha-Yoon] We got the sleigh hitched,
and we are ready to lay some fresh tracks all up in Santa's business.
[exhales sharply] Oh, you most certainly will not.
[sighs] This is not good.
♪ Four calling birds Three French hens ♪
♪ Two turtledoves And a partridge in a pear tree ♪
[chimes]
♪ On the ninth day of Christmas My true love gave to me ♪
♪ Nine ladies dancing ♪
♪ Eight maids a-milking Seven swans a-swimming ♪
♪ Six geese a-laying ♪
[door opens]
Good news. We completed the repair sooner than expected. Your bird's ready to fly.
That was fast.
Are you sure your repair guy did a good job? Like, can we trust this dude?
Uh, this dude is our head mechanic, and she's my wife.
So, yes, we can trust her.
- Uh. - Ah, let's get you out of here.
[stammers] Wait. Um, I need to take an inventory of my cargo.
- Seriously? - Yes, that is a fact.
It is standard World Express procedure, and I should get started.
♪ Four big boxes ♪
♪ Three French hens Two turtledoves ♪
And a partridge in a pear tree ♪
- [pants] - [chimes]
[pants] That song is torture.
[cheering, laughing]
[laughs] Oh, it worked!
Hallelujah!
[laughs, gasps]
[laughs]
Whoa.
[all panting]
Why is this place so empty?
[Andy] All that's left is the presents for the naughty kids.
Everything else was delivered.
Our stuff has to be on these shelves somewhere.
Spread out. We gotta find our stuff.
Yes.
Come on. It's gotta be here somewhere.
[laughing, panting]
Hello, my friend.
[chuckles]
Andy. Look. [laughing]
Check it out. [laughing]
All right, we got Ha-Yoon's bounce shoes, Albert's drum kit. Uh...
Rose's boa constrictor.
[sighs]
Jon Anthony, found what you were looking for?
Oh, yes.
Sewing machine. Cool, I guess.
It's not just any sewing machine. It's the PR-980.
It's got a built-in touch screen,
200 programmable stitches and an automatic thread cutter.
It can go from sewing silk to leather without even changing stitch length.
Great. Grab the PR-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah and let's go.
Jon Anthony, something wrong?
[sighs] Okay. Real talk.
Before I made our elf disguises, I'd never actually designed a piece of clothing.
Well, what about Jon Anthony Originals?
All fake. I copied other people's designs.
I wasn't even sure if I could design something of my own.
What-- What about the whole "I'm Jon Anthony" thing?
I can't help it if my natural swagger projects a sense of confidence.
But now I know. I can make something truly original.
And I just want you all to know, when I'm huge, you'll all get a 5% discount.
Sale items only.
Move!
[grunting, panting]
Ha-Yoon, slow down! We're supposed to be keeping a low profile.
I thought this was a low profile. [chuckles]
[both shouting]
Whoa!
[grunts]
Perfect timing.
[grunts]
♪ Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪
Santa, we got a situation.
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
[alarm blaring]
We're busted.
We're not caught yet.
Ha-Yoon, hit it!
- [reindeer grunt] - [all screaming]
- [guard] All right. Look down here. - Oh, man. Oh, man.
- Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. [groans] - [guard] Come on. Hurry.
Men, follow me!
- [Lewis grunting] - [guard] Come on. This way!
Whoa!
[alarm blaring]
[gasps] That ain't good.
[all screaming]
[screams] Yeah, go! [laughs]
Y-You know the plan is to get us out alive, right?
Sit back and enjoy the ride!
[laughs] Hyah!
[whimpering]
[screaming]
[laughing]
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! [laughs]
Whoa! Whoa. Whoa!
[panting]
You are trespassing on mythical property.
Step out of the sleigh and put your hands up.
[breathes shakily]
Everybody, hold on.
- [reins crack] - [reindeer grunt]
Stop! Stop! Stop!
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! - [screaming]
[shouts]
[officers shouting] Stop! Hey! Stop!
This is so dope! [screaming]
[officers] Come on! They're getting away! Come on!
[both screaming]
[siren wailing]
I'll try to slow them down.
- Dulce, you can do this. You got this. - Hurry. Come on. You can do it.
[grunts]
[deflating]
[shouts, whimpers]
[shouts, grunts]
- Yes! - [all cheering]
- Yes! Whoo! - Whoo!
Pull over! Now!
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
[reins crack]
[siren wailing]
[Ha-Yoon] Back off!
[kids screaming]
- [Andy] Ha-Yoon, what are you doing? - Trying to get us out of here!
[Rose] I think I'm gonna be sick.
[Ha-Yoon] Over there!
[screams]
[all laughing] Yeah!
- My bad! - [Andy chuckles]
Whoa!
[screams, grunts]
- Back up. Back up. Back up. Back up. - Why?
- [Rose] We're trapped. - There's nowhere to go.
[beeping]
[Lewis shouting]
- [officer] What the-- - [Andy] Lewis!
- [Laurel] Lewis! - Lewis!
- [Rose] Come on, Lewis!
[cracking]
Watch out!
[all shouting]
Is everybody okay? [grunts]
Lewis!
Hyah!
- Lewis! - [Lewis grunting]
Come on.
You saved us.
I-I-I-I didn't mean to.
Well, when we retell this story, we're gonna say you did.
[grunts]
- [Laurel] Come on. Let's go. Let's go. - [Dulce] No, no, no, no. Go. Go. Go.
[Andy] Let's go get Albert.
- [reins crack] - [reindeer grunt]
- Come on. - Come on.
All right.
- [door rattling] - [gate guard elf grunting]
[grunting continues]
[sleigh approaching]
- [Albert grunts] - [all laughing]
What took you so long?
[all cheering]
[Andy] We did it!
Not even Santa can stop the Naughty Nine.
That really just happened.
- Is anyone in for a post-heist selfie? - [Albert, Dulce] Yeah!
- Where'd you get that? - I took it from the vault.
You stole it?
No, I earned it.
Bethany didn't get us to that vault. I did.
You were right, Andy.
We didn't get caught. So what's the harm?
I mean, this feels good.
Like, new-phone good.
Okay, everybody in here.
151 yellow envelopes,
152 yellow envelopes.
Oh, these two are stuck together.
Sir. Time to leave.
Oh, boy.
[all screaming, laughing] Whoo! Yeah!
Oh, dang. H-He's leaving without us!
[Lewis] What? [gasps]
What are you doing?
I stalled as long as I could. They were very insistent that I leave.
[sighs]
We gotta get on that plane.
Bruno, open the door. I'll get us close enough to jump.
What? Are you serious? That's a precision move.
- So? - Your catchphrase is "my bad."
Guys, I got this.
Okay. Well, you got less than a minute, then I'm out of runway.
[all clamoring] Come on. Step on it!
[Laurel] Almost there!
- [screaming] - Come on! We're so close!
[Jon Anthony] Start, Dulce!
I can do this thing.
[grunting]
- Yes! I did it! - [Andy] Yeah, Albert! Go! Go! Go!
[Dulce] Come on, Albert. Give me your hand.
Can we jump a little faster?
- Yeah! - Come on! Come on!
[Dulce] Come on, Jon Anthony!
Come on, kids! Hurry up!
Your turn, Andy.
- Come on! - Come on.
- What are you doing? - You go.
I'll throw the stuff, and then I'll follow.
But-- Wh--
This heist was my idea.
I go last.
[grunts]
[Laurel] Come on, Andy!
- Andy, come on! - [Lewis] Now or never!
- Andy! - [Ha-Yoon] Andy, let's go!
- [Lewis] Come on! - [Laurel] Andy, jump now!
[Rose, Laurel] Andy!
- Andy, no! - Andy, what?
- No! What are you doing? - No!
What is Andy doing?
- [alarm blaring] - [pants]
[grunting, shouting]
[panting]
[siren wailing]
What is even going on right now?
We were out of there.
Why would your brother do us like that?
I don't know, but we can't just leave him there.
I mean, we have to go back.
I'm wild, but I'm not that wild.
I-If we go back, we're busted for sure.
[Ha-Yoon sighs]
It just doesn't make sense.
This was his plan.
Why would he bail at the last second?
Who cares why he did it? I'm not leaving him behind.
But he betrayed us, Dulce.
You're not even gonna get your bow now.
- It was never about the bow. - It wasn't?
I'm the middle child in a house full of twins.
Everybody has a person but me.
Andy's my person.
If he wants to play video games, I'll play video games.
If... [laughs] ...he wants to take down the North Pole, I'll do that. [chuckles]
He is my best friend, and I'm not leaving him.
Said you wanted to see Santa, eh?
- Well, there he is. - [grunts]
[Santa Claus] Andy Steele.
- Why am I not surprised? - Whoa.
It's really you.
The others got away, Santa.
But at least we got this one.
I know this looks bad, and it is bad.
I guess it's kind of what it looks like.
But it's okay now because I brought everything back.
So we're good, right?
Me and you?
Santa?
We good?
No, no, no, you can't punish my friends.
Look, this was all my idea.
You can put me on the Naughty List for the rest of my life,
but please leave them out of it.
Is that what you really want?
I mean,
no.
But it's what I deserve.
[letter board clacking]
W-What are you doing? Why is my sister still on it?
Something's missing.
The phone.
The phone?
Santa, it's not her fault.
She's a good person.
You saw Santa.
Time to go.
[grunts]
[breathes heavily]
I-I swear, I'll-I'll fix this. I'll-I'll get the phone.
I don't-- I don't care about this stuff anymore.
You can keep it.
Look who I found trying to sneak back in.
Oh, God.
[gate guard elf] Let's go!
Tell me you didn't come back for this stuff.
We came back for you.
Hey. You weren't lost in the woods at all, were you?
I'm eight years old.
What would I be doing up at the North Pole all by myself?
Why did you do it?
Because of you.
[sighs] Talking you into coming up here was a huge mistake.
I took the best person I know and then made you naughty. Like me.
[stammers] I'm sorry, guys.
I always thought that as long as I didn't get caught,
I wasn't doing anything wrong.
That's not true.
If we deserved these presents,
Santa would have brought them to us in the first place.
[sighs]
I'm sorry, Santa.
I guess I got a little caught up in all of this. [inhales deeply]
My brother is very convincing. [titters]
Uh. Yes, he is.
- So she's off the list now, right? - No.
But here's the thing about the Naughty List.
You could get off the list any time you want.
Every day, you have an opportunity to choose who you want to be.
You don't have to change yourself.
Just use your powers for nice instead of naughty.
[Rose, Albert] Mm-hmm.
You think you can do that?
[Laurel, Rose, Lewis] Mm-hmm.
- [sighs] - Andy?
I-I-I mean, I think I can.
I want to.
Just promise me you'll try.
I'll try.
[letter board clacking]
[scoffs]
I think it's time you kids got home.
Uh, wouldn't want your parents worried about you.
- Oh, no. They'd be so-- - No, sir.
- Uh. No, sir. - Definitely not.
Uh. Mr. Santa, sir,
I was wondering if I could take a selfie?
The guys at work are being major jerks.
Eh. Of course, Bruno.
[Bruno] Thanks.
[Santa Claus laughs] Ho, ho, ho!
Well, I don't think that heist could have gone any better.
- Are you out of your mind? - Come on.
What? Okay. So it didn't go exactly according to plan,
but it kind of feels like it worked out the way it was supposed to.
Thanks for coming back for me.
You're my guy. [chuckles]
Hope you're not in too much trouble.
[chuckles] Please. They don't even know I was gone.
- [sighs] Dulce, where have you been? - We've been worried sick.
- She's home. - Huh.
I guess they did know I was gone.
[parent] Get over here.
[chuckles]
So, am I really the best person you know?
[sighs] I knew that was gonna come back on me.
[chuckles] No. I mean, I've always thought I was the best person you knew,
but it was nice to hear it out loud.
You're the worst.
- [laughing] - [chuckles]
Well, look who it is.
I spoke to Bethany's actual mom.
Laurel, where were you?
[stammers] I, um,
got chosen to perform for the president.
Laurel, stop.
Oh, thank goodness.
Mom, Dad, here's the truth.
[sighs]
Me, Laurel, Dulce, and a bunch of kids borrowed a plane from Dad's work
and flew to the North Pole so we could sneak into Santa's vault.
[scoffs]
Laurel didn't even want to. She hated every second of it.
Andy, that's not true.
Yeah, I didn't hate it.
It was one of the funnest nights of my life.
I'm really glad I went.
I'm glad you went too.
- You really expect us to believe that-- - Shh.
Who cares if it's true?
They're actually getting along.
♪ Are you ready for Christmas? ♪
♪ Are you decking the halls? ♪
♪ Are you ready for Christmas? ♪
[bell ringing]
♪ It's only just begun ♪
I can't believe it's only third period.
I said it before, and I'll say it again:
the day before winter break?
- Longest day of the year. - [PA system chimes]
[announcer] Andy Steele, report to the principal's office.
- Mr. Smith would like to see you now. - [students] Ooh. He's in trouble.
- What'd you do? - [stammers] I didn't do anything.
I've been extra good, like, all year.
Before you say anything, sir.
I didn't do whatever it is you think I did.
[stammers] I know I used to have a bit of a reputation, but--
Santa? [stammers] What are you doing here?
Andy, I don't have much time. I need your help.
I'm in a situation.
I need the Naughty Nine.
[exhales sharply]
《聖誕特攻隊》
(十二月)
(寒假)
(克拉克校長)
明天就要放寒假了 沒人指望你們今天會認真上課
你衹需要看部賀歲片 吃吃點心, 待到三點
但你就有辦法在整年當中 最可以放鬆的日子裡
被叫進校長室
那不是我的錯
就像我跟邦納老師說的那樣 我不知道為什麼會變成這樣
過來, 別靠近
就跟你不知道是誰運作了
麥卡利斯特小學的「付費入場」 小聯盟詐騙案一樣
那是個謎團
也不知道優格媽媽的 假集點卡是誰印出來的
好的, 我必須說 這年頭優格的價格簡直太離譜了
安迪, 你很聰明、很討人喜歡
我真心相信如果你下定決心 沒有你辦不到的事
但你一直把註意力放在錯的地方
聽好, 我發誓, 克拉克校長
我不是個壞孩子
你何不把這個假期 看成是你改頭換面的機會?
過去的事我們可以既往不咎
但我希望你好好思考
下學期你想成為什麼樣的孩子
你想成為一個詭計多端的騙子
還是成為一個更好的人?
我想成為更好的人
我可以改, 克拉克校長
我知道我可以
拜託, 鼻涕別沾到我的外套
眼淚是個不錯的點子
到手了嗎?
朵茜, 妳不知道我是誰嗎?
我可以改, 克拉克校長
我知道我可以
拜託, 鼻涕別沾到我的外套
沒収櫃裡放著經由不當手段從學生手裡
搶來的東西
這是我們至今做過最大的一票
今天是我們最後的機會
學期末到了
也就是說學校會清空櫃子
把我們的東西全都送給慈善單位
我們不能讓這種事發生 我們有多少時間?
我不是個壞孩子
(提領捐獻物資, 下午兩點卌五分)
収貨時間是兩點卌五分 所以我們要在五分鐘內搞定
- 準備好了嗎? - 那還用說
事成之後見囉
(清潔員)
妳應該在教室裡吧?
明天就要放寒假了 沒人指望你們今天會認真上課
你衹需要看部...
我是校長
我想讓大家在三點前放學
下個學期見
(佳節愉快!)
你們在做什麼?
(麥卡利斯特小學)
別逼我在假期當中 打電話給你們的父母, 回來
我真不敢相信我們真的辦到了
嘿
- 你們拿著那臺推車要做什麼? - 沒什麼
安迪, 我們剛剛才談過
- 立刻就被我抓到你... - 不是啦, 克拉克校長, 不要...
- 餅乾? - 餅乾?
我知道裡面是餅乾
這是給你和教職員的驚喜
你們工作得這麼辛苦, 我衹是想表達謝意
安迪, 你真貼心
我會確保大家都有份
- 聖誕節快樂 - 聖誕節快樂
你把東西...你怎麼...
我真不敢相信我們真的辦到了
東西怎麼辦?我們要怎麼拿出來?
會由清潔員推出來給我們
安迪, 我們要給路易斯什麼?
拜託是我爸的無人機
我不該拿走, 但我還是拿了
然後被努伯老師看到了, 她就拿走了
動作快, 我們其他人很忙的
- 艾伯特, 放輕鬆, 會輪到你 - 別叫我放輕鬆, 放輕鬆是我發明的
你看
你們這一次真的救了我一命
如果我爸知道這件事, 我就完蛋了
我會登上頑皮名單
你們知道政府付錢給網路
要他們封鎖聖誕村的位置...
安迪, 你那裡有彈弓嗎?我要
- 不付錢, 彈弓免談 - 五美金
但我沒有這麼多錢
天啊
你們有見過這麼可愛的臉龐嗎?
我好心碎, 給他吧, 就給他吧
拿去吧, 一根彈弓
蠢蛋, 多謝啦, 拜拜
喂, 你欠我們喔
(《穿梭廿碼》)
我真不敢相信你把分到的錢
拿去買了一個遊戲, 但你根本沒有主機
你父母絕對不可能買給你
太貴了
所以我才在上週寫信給聖誕老人, 跟他要
備用計畫, 我喜歡
我在十一月就把信寄給人家了
聖誕老人是我獲得射箭裝備的唯一機會
我父母認為那太危險了
的確很危險
所以我才想要
我得承認餅乾那招真的是神來之筆
如果被克拉克抓到我們拿走那些東西
我們就完蛋了
我們沒有拿走那些東西
我們是把東西還回去
把失去的寶物交還給主人
朵茜, 我們今天日行一善了
對耶, 沒錯
朵茜, 聖誕快樂
安迪, 聖誕快樂
門鎖住了, 讓我進去
安迪, 學校今天還好嗎?
有什麼有趣的事嗎?
- 蘿瑞爾, 學校還好 - 真的嗎?
因為史黛西威克斯跟我說潔西卡陳告訴她
馬泰歐賈西亞的妹妹說
你被叫進校長辦公室
- 你被校長叫進去? - 又被叫進去?是真的嗎?
對, 是真的
克拉克校長的無線網路有問題
其他的孩子都想看電影
所以我自願去幫她
安迪
你好體貼喔
什麼?你們真的相信他說的話?
畢竟家裡的無線網路每次都是他修好的
- 誰想吃抱子甘藍? - 你們都知道我想
我最愛抱子甘藍了
安迪
你知道一邊說話一邊看向右上方
這個人十之八九是在說謊嗎?
(《病理性說謊者的藝術》)
蘿瑞爾, 這種似是而非的看法真有趣
我聽說如果把寒假的第一晚浪費在
讀一本關於辨識謊話的書
那個人百分百是個失敗者
聽好, 我知道吃晚餐的時候 妳在搞什麼鬼, 我尊重妳
但妳永遠贏不了我
我太圓滑, 太聰明了
我永遠超前部署
你或許騙得了爸媽, 但別想騙過我
別以為沒被抓到就代表你沒做壞事
我可不這麼認為
你總有一天會得意忘形
你的謊言和陰謀會當著你的面被拆穿
而我會在這裡
捧腹大笑
妳慢慢等吧, 也許一輩子都等不到
如果我是妳, 妳知道我會怎麼做嗎?
繼續過自己的生活 彷彿什麼事都不會發生...
一隻飛翔的馴鹿?
他是這麼說的
一名世界快遞的機師認為
一隻會飛的馴鹿撞斷了他的機翼 我們絕不希望這種事被傳開
聽起來布魯諾飛北方航線飛太久了
誇張的是機身上的凹痕看起來確實像蹄印
聖誕節到了
大家快起床, 聖誕節到了
小布拉克斯
小布拉克斯, 小布拉克斯在大打折嗎?
好東西在哪裡?
不是吧
這是州立體操隊的隊服
我以為我們要等到她正式被選上時
再送她這件體操服
那不是我買的, 也許是妳媽媽買的
親愛的, 標籤上寫了什麼?
「聖誕老人送給蘿瑞爾的」
謝啦, 「聖誕老人」
這裡什麼都沒有 為什麼聖誕老人沒送我東西?
也許是因為他不會送禮物給調皮的小孩
妳弟弟並不調皮
是嗎?那為什麼 「聖誕老人」不送禮物給他?
- 誰想吃鬆餅? - 我來幫忙
為什麼妳媽媽買禮物給蘿瑞爾 卻不買給安迪?
又還不確定是我媽送的
記得我說過你總有一天會玩火自焚 而我會捧腹大笑嗎?
你瞧瞧吧
聖誕老人
看看我的禮物
我就是想要這個
太酷了, 拿去給爸看看
- 爸, 你看 - 我看看, 我看看
- 看看聖誕老人還送了你什麼? - 對呀, 坐下吧
聖誕老人聽到了我的願望
看看這個, 好酷喔
- 妳一定不會相信 - 聖誕老人騙了你?
聖誕老人耍了我
等等, 妳也是?
沒有弓, 沒有箭, 什麼都沒有
他每次都會送禮物給我
為什麼今年沒有?
除非...
- 頑皮名單 - 頑皮名單
(復活節島, 摩埃人像) (尼斯湖水怪)
(金字塔之謎) (《是幽浮嗎?》)
(你在頑皮名單上嗎? 深入了解頑皮名單)
你來對地方了
每個人都認為聖誕節 與世界和平有關, 替人類帶來好運
但那全都是意志控制
意志控制?
就如同每種文化各有各的聖誕老人版本
他們也創造出了恐嚇孩子乖乖聽話的神話
德國有坎卜斯, 意大利有巫婆
外國有聖誕庫魯斯
但那些不同的形體其實都是同一種東西
- 頑皮名單 - 所以頑皮名單衹是個神話囉?
在我深入調查之前我也是這麼認為
電腦是聖誕老人送的
2TB硬碟,1TB記憶體,64核心CR-990
- 夠囉, 路易斯 - 好的, 看看這個
- 到底要看什麼? - 這是我寫的演算法
它能在網路上蒐尋留言板 社群媒體和影片
衹要有孩子在上面抱怨 沒拿到聖誕老人送的禮物, 它就會記錄
這就是頑皮名單
看看他們, 肯定有數千人
超過一百萬人 至少這是我目前所找到的人數
不該這樣
不, 就該這樣, 誤差範圍至少是...
不, 我說的不是你的演算法
我說的是頑皮名單
我說的是在聖誕節欺騙孩子
聖誕老公公從何時開始能夠 決定小孩該不該得到禮物？
一直以來都是, 拜託
「他知道你在睡覺, 他知道你醒了」
路易斯
如果聖誕老人沒有把禮物送給我們 那麼禮物會在哪裡?
如果禮物一直都待在工廠的話
那麼現在一定也還在那裡
等等, 你現在正在想 我認為你在想的事嗎?
我們想要的禮物就衹是被放在那裡
你的確是有那種想法
安迪, 這跟溜進沒収櫃可不一樣
但就是一樣, 同樣的概念 衹是能得到更大的報酬
朵茜, 聖誕老人把我們的聖誕節搶走了
我們搶回來吧
就算真有座倉庫裝滿了 沒送出去的聖誕禮物
我們又不知道在哪裡
我知道在哪裡
在我告訴你們之前, 你們得答應帶上我
我不確定
路易斯, 你又不在頑皮名單上面
你確定你想參與這種事嗎?
當然
我花了三年的時間蒐集 聖誕老人村落存在的證據
我得親眼見到
如果你告訴我們禮物在哪裡 我保證我會帶你去
我廿四小時監控著這個地方
它唯一會改變的時間是在十二月 廿四日的十一點五十九分五十九秒
會出現這種狀況
- 那是什麼? - 那是聖誕村
- 不可能 - 不可能
等等, 路易斯 你可以用地點篩選頑皮名單嗎?
當然, 幹嘛問這個?
因為如果我們要溜進北極
我就得組一個史上最強的團隊
除了我們, 我們還需要體操員 無辜的可人兒
動物溝通師, 偽裝大師和機師
共八個人, 第九個人是誰?
逃亡車手
你想的是誰?
她
各就各位
準備
出發
太陡了
- 停下來 - 她會被撞得慘兮兮
看下去
- 不是吧 - 停車, 停車
不行啊
(河允, 逃亡車手)
(因為輕率駕駛登上頑皮名單)
都怪我
我們要在這裡坐多久?
冷斃了
你覺得這叫冷?
你知道我們要去北極吧?
- 哇 - 來吧
(《波士頓日報》)
午餐時間到了
哈囉, 馬兒
你不喜歡拉這個蠢東西, 對吧?
那匹馬是不是回應她了?
當我說「跑」, 你就跑
懂了嗎?
- 跑 - 我的三明治
那是我的午餐耶
(蘿絲)
(動物溝通師)
(因為擅自解放動物登上頑皮名單)
我的馬
小桃, 回來
雞蛋沙拉
來吧, 蘿瑞爾
就跟我們練習時一樣
妳可以的
準備好就開始
漂亮, 很好
穩住, 収緊
我的天, 她又掉下來了?
蘿瑞爾, 下一次就會成功了
漂亮的落地
我下一次會成功
確保妳會錄下來
我無法到場, 因為我會在州長盃的賽場上
好的, 貝瑟妮, 換妳了
你來這裡做什麼?
放輕鬆, 不是來找妳的
我是來找她的
- 厲害 - 我的天
(貝瑟妮, 體操員)
(因為恣意狂妄登上頑皮名單)
那才是我們的體操員
這作工太了不起了
是你自己一手設計的嗎?
招牌上面寫了什麼?
「喬恩安東尼原創」
- 我叫什麼名字? - 喬恩安東尼
- 這有什麼特色? - 原創?
- 你最好不要懷疑 - 厲害
- 你到底要不要? - 要
這些都是他做的?
對, 這孩子的技術真是不錯
我不確定耶
我告訴那邊那位帥哥要皕美金
但如果你立刻付現, 我可以算你一百五十
成交
- 謝謝惠顧 - 你也是, 孩子
(喬恩安東尼, 偽裝大師)
(因不明原因登上頑皮名單)
我真不敢相信我們把 寒假的第一天浪費在這裡
老鼠最愛跑到地下室
妳剛說的每件事我都很厭惡
我仍然搞不懂艾伯特在這裡幹嘛?
- 那是我要吃的 - 先搶先贏
但我真的很想很想吃
別這樣, 餅乾給你吧, 我根本不想吃
謝啦, 蠢蛋
(艾伯特, 無辜的可人兒)
(因濫用他的可愛登上頑皮名單)
那回答了你的問題了嗎?
- 貝瑟妮, 妳來這裡做什麼? - 我來找人幫忙練習高低桿
- 真的嗎? - 假的, 妳弟邀請我過來
貝瑟妮, 這邊請
我們在地下室集合
- 你在搞什麼鬼? - 搞什麼鬼?
蘿瑞爾, 我親愛的姊姊 我什麼時候搞鬼過了?
安迪, 我們為什麼要在地下室
吃潮掉的餅乾和一群怪胎殺時間?
這裡的每個人都有個共通點
- 毫無品味可言? - 什麼?
不是, 我們全都被聖誕老人騙了
如果我告訴你們我們合作的話
仍然能夠實現聖誕節願望呢?
- 怎麼做? - 我們要搶劫北極
誰要加入我?
我要走了, 誰可以把電話借我一下?
我得打給我的保母
- 我也得打給某人 - 等等
這裡的每個人都寫過一封信 或在某個百貨公司裡排隊等待
就是為了要向聖誕老人要求 他們在這世上最想要的東西
而這一年
我們每個人都沒有在樹下 找到聖誕老公公送的禮物
如果你們能夠接受, 那就走吧
但我無法接受
讓他們看看妳準備了什麼
一大堆的小布拉克斯
- 在聖誕節之前打大折 - 我就知道
安迪, 你的計畫
好的
多虧了路易斯
我們知道了所有禮物都存放在這個地窖
聖誕老人的工廠
那其實沒什麼
衹不過是基本的磁共振成像
讓我能夠定位出子結構...
我們都很佩服, 不用說下去了
如果我們想要有 一絲絲的機會闖進那座地窖
我們就得合作
就我們目前所知 沒有任何人潛入過聖誕村
通過警衛可不是件容易事
進入之後, 我們必須融入其他的精靈
喬恩安東尼, 你負責偽裝任務
沒問題, 把其他精靈這季的服裝寄給我 我來搞定
那就是問題所在, 我們不知道他們穿什麼
你可以想辦法做看看嗎?
當然可以, 我可是喬恩安東尼
他是喬恩安東尼
村裡的每一吋都被監視器環繞著
如果我們無法在抵達地窖時關閉監視器
我們立刻就會被識破 比孩子在聖誕夜搖晃禮物的速度還快
那我呢?我要做什麼?
地窖的入口跨越了一座冰峽谷
我們需要具有高超飛行技術的人
飛到另一側, 把橋昇起來
幸好我們擁有麻州 數一數二厲害的四A等級體操員
應該是說「最厲害」的
當然囉, 拿到東西衹成功了一半
我們的逃亡車手得在別人發現我們之前
- 把我們和戰利品帶下山 - 你怎麼會知道這些事?
路易斯研究北極好多年了
我要把醜話說在前面
這是我計劃過最複雜的搶劫案
會很困難
會有風險
如果我們被抓到了, 可能會被禁足一輩子
但如果我們成功了 那就會是史上最棒的聖誕節
誰要加入?
- 我 - 我也是
好吧
好啊, 我也沒別的事好做
- 貝瑟妮? - 隨便啦
我已經告訴大家我得到了一支新手機
一月開學之後 總得帶著手機現身, 對吧?
好耶
- 走吧 - 好耶
你們都沒在聽
我跟你們說, 他一定在打鬼主意
蘿瑞爾, 妳為什麼總是認為 妳弟在做壞事?
因為他就是
他現在就在地下室計劃某個陰謀
去看看, 好嗎?
好吧
太好了
(環保社)
媽, 蘿瑞爾
妳們想加入我們的環保社嗎?
環保社?真的假的?
真的, 我們用我們募來的錢
在食堂放了一張新桌子給沒有朋友的孩子
我要獻給用愛滋養我的爸媽
妳不會真的相信吧?
我的乖孩子
媽
拜拜
就差一點點
好的, 繼續談正事
星期五一早先在公車站集合
我們要過夜, 所以需要不在場證明
星期五晚上 你們會在你檔案裡的這個人家過夜
至少要跟你爸媽這麼說
給他們下面這個電話號碼
(最高機密)
那個號碼會連到我的手機 我會假扮成家長
她是模仿媽媽聲音的專家
絕不可能會成功
貝瑟妮安, 妳敢給我臉色看?
我認真工作了這麼久, 可不是為了
回家之後聽到這些鬼話
對不起, 媽咪
我是說...這可行喔
妳呢?妳的父母要打給誰?
我家有五個孩子, 沒人會註意到我不在
看清楚你的不在場證明
背下來, 然後...
- 吞下去 - 什麼?不行啦
沖進馬桶之類的
別被你父母發現就好了
- 蘿絲, 妳說 - 我從來沒在別人家過夜過
因為我大多數的朋友都睡在木屑上
因為牠們是囓齒動物
- 我父母一定會知道有地方不對勁 - 這樣吧...
告訴他們妳會在一家動物収容所過夜
因為那裡有隻狗的腳掌受傷了
- 牠會沒事吧? - 什麼?不, 沒有狗啦
衹是個告訴他們的藉口
真是個好藉口
他們絕不會起疑
我就相信了
- 拜拜 - 拜拜
- 明天見 - 拜拜
- 等不及跟你們一起搶劫聖誕老人了 - 小聲點
我真不敢相信沒有人問起要如何抵達北極
對呀
等等, 我們要如何抵達北極?
聽到你說今天想陪我上班, 我相當驚訝
開什麼玩笑
我一直很想瞧瞧物流經理的工作內容
好啦, 我衹是想避開蘿瑞爾啦
她超討厭的
當我在你這個年紀時
我很常和你戴夫大伯吵架
但若要我說實話, 我想我把他逼瘋的原因
是因為我希望他喜歡我
我很崇拜他
爸, 這是個好故事
我不太確定要如何應用於我的狀況 但我很喜歡這個故事
(世界快遞)
(機師室)
爸, 我得去一下廁所
穿過那扇門之後有一間
太好了, 可能要一段時間, 是大號
好喔, 不用告訴我
(布魯諾, 機師)
(頑皮名單不適用於成人)
- 你是布魯諾嗎? - 你是怎麼進來的?
我想知道更多有關你看到的那隻馴鹿的事
別說這件事
他們已經認為我瘋了
在我通過心理評估之前, 我被禁飛了
要是我告訴你我能提供證據給你
證明你見到的是真的呢?
你繼續說
我們有機師了
我們有問題了, 貝瑟妮退出了
什麼?
她一直吵 吵到她父母買了一支她想要的手機給她
- 沒有體操員我們有辦法完成嗎? - 不可能
我們得再找一個
- 我有認識的人 - 誰?
他們住在哪裡?
住你隔壁房間
不, 我才不要問她, 她絕不可能答應
你得試試看
- 出去 - 不, 是真的, 蘿瑞爾, 我發誓
我在爸的公司找到了機師 他會載我們到北極
但我們整個計畫陷入了困境 因為貝瑟妮退出了
你期待我會相信 貝瑟妮本來會幫你做這件事?
是真的, 但她退出了, 因為...
因為她害怕她辦不到
貝瑟妮天不怕地不怕
這件事讓她害怕了
但我告訴她沒關係
因為我會去找我見過最優秀的體操選手
妳
當然囉, 貝瑟妮說
「蘿瑞爾? 她的技巧不足以應付這份工作」
技巧不足?我比她強十倍
我衹是最近有點失常罷了
我也是這樣告訴她
我說: 「蘿瑞爾辦得到, 當她成功之後
妳就會知道當妳退縮的時候 她挺身而出」
好吧, 我願意幫忙
- 真的嗎? - 但不是為了你
我會去, 這樣我就可以拿這件事讓她難堪
不, 不會, 我不介意蘿瑞爾在朋友家過夜
衹是我沒想到那些女孩真心喜歡對方
琳達, 妳也了解女孩的德性
我們也經歷過青春期前的那個階段 不算是青少女, 也不算是春少女
春少女?
我得掛了, 我的...
我老公又在搞破壞了
老公實在是...對吧?
對
謝啦, 媽
妳什麼時候開始和貝瑟妮處得來?
她們把話講開了
我真的得好好誇讚蘿瑞爾, 她很有肚量
我們都可以從她身上學到一些東西
親愛的, 開心玩喔
- 你好可怕 - 謝謝
(聖誕快樂)
喂...喂, 你們在做什麼?
你們會害我被抓到
抱歉, 我興奮過頭了
好的, 安安靜靜地跟著我
偽裝服飾的進度如何?
快好了
非常好, 是說我還沒見到完整的服裝
安迪, 你很可愛, 但你防礙到我了 請讓我工作
好的, 對, 沒問題
愚蠢的古董扣子
我真不敢相信我會這麼說 但下一次我要用魔鬼氈
一切還好嗎?
妳可以保守祕密嗎?
當角蜥蜴受到威脅時 牠的眼瞼會噴血嗎?
我不知道
答案是會, 會噴血
可以, 我能保密
好的, 我不知道我在幹嘛
我其實從沒設計過任何衣服
我的喬恩安東尼原創?
全都是仿冒品
我是個冒牌貨, 騙子
我不知道精靈穿什麼, 這是我亂做出來的
那不就是原創了嗎?
妳什麼都不懂
試穿看看
天啊, 我等不及想拿到那套射箭組了
我得老實說
對於幫助妳獲得這把弓, 我的心情很複雜
妳爸一定會氣瘋了
至少他們會有一些反應
我要求了彈力鞋
我會變成像喝了冷萃咖啡的袋鼠
聖誕老人該送給我一套鼓
我想要一條白化大蟒蛇
快去換衣服
蘿瑞爾, 妳呢? 聖誕老人本來該送什麼禮物給妳?
她想要的東西全到手了 蘿瑞爾沒有在頑皮名單上
- 真幸運 - 那不是幸運, 我衹是遵守規則
如果規則不公平呢?
規則就是規則, 安迪
遵守規則是該做的事
我喜歡做該做的事, 會讓我感覺很好
但有時候那些規則 會阻礙你得到想要的東西
妳現在也是在破壞規則 因為妳加入了我們
感覺沒有很糟糕, 對吧?
不是吧
- 那看起來好完美 - 對呀
你覺得呢?
誰可以說句話嗎?
如果我是精靈, 我會穿
我不是精靈, 我也會穿
閉嘴啦
隨時隨地都得戴著帽子
如果被人看到我們沒有精靈的尖耳朵 我們就被抓包了
各位, 過來這裡, 你們得看看
哇
你們看
極光
哇
看看那些顏色
- 哇 - 太神奇了
好漂亮
- 哇 - 天啊
好美喔
- 超美的 - 哇
不明飛機, 你已進入管制空域
- 立刻調頭 - 我該怎麼辦?
告訴他們機器故障
你得著陸
北極塔臺, 這是世界快遞四零九班機
我遇上了一些狀況, 我的飛機病得很重
- 什麼? - 病得很重?
請重複, 你說你的飛機病得很重?
- 你有事嗎? - 我真的很不會說謊
讓我來處理
你在做什麼?我們得立刻降落
抱歉, 我不是故意的
沒事啦
會沒事的, 會沒事的
加油, 挺住, 我們會沒事的
哈囉
- 機上還有其他人嗎? - 衹有我, 沒有別人
除非你數了包裹數量 那就是我和那些包裹
但如果沒數, 那就衹有我
看來我知道你的飛機出了什麼問題
應該兩個小時就可以修好
太好了, 謝謝
好的, 來吧
我以為我們肯定會被逮到
- 就差一點點 - 下次不能再這樣
你們都聽到了 我們衹有兩個小時的時間闖入聖誕村
拿好禮物, 回到機上
那我們還在等什麼?
設好計時器
兩個小時
聽我的口令, 出發
聖誕村的入口
應該就在另一側森林裡
我不敢相信我真的來到這裡了
你們覺得聖誕老人會和我自拍嗎?
聽好, 我們沒有要見聖誕老人
重點就在於快速進出, 不被任何人看到
你們看
我的天啊
是真的
等等, 妳大老遠跑來這裡
而妳竟然不相信這是真的?
那妳幹嘛要來?
那我就能跟你說「我早說過」
艾伯特, 該你上場了
如果見到任何不尋常的跡像 用對講機通知我們
如果我見到任何不尋常的跡像
我人在北極, 即將要闖入聖誕村
這個狀況就很不尋常
看在聖誕老人的份上, 那是什麼?
是個孩子, 像是人類的孩子
小朋友, 你大老遠跑來這裡做什麼?
我跟媽咪來的
但我迷路了
冷靜, 我得去通報一下
好啦, 好啦, 我等等再通報好了
進來暖暖身體, 好嗎?
讓你的小肚肚吃一些餅乾?
- 有熱可可嗎? - 有
這裡是北極, 可可就是我們的開水
小心步伐
路易斯, 該讓監視器斷線了
你有一小時
交給我, 祝你好運, 安迪
河允、蘿絲, 找到馴鹿馬廄 準備好一臺逃生雪橇
那是我該做的
我一直很想跟馴鹿說話
那我們呢?
我們要躲過他人的耳目, 儘快趕到工廠
我的天
天啊
這裡為什麼這麼安靜?
聖誕節剛過, 他們可能在休息
太完美了, 沒有人會知道我們在這裡
所以這些衣服我白做囉?
經過這裡之後, 工廠就不遠了
你們聽到音樂聲了嗎?
我想我知道為什麼鎮上這麼安靜的原因了
大家好
我們跟他們一點也不像
我不認識你們任何一個人
是這樣的, 我們要去克利夫蘭的商場工作
我們的飛機延遲了 我們租的雪橇弄壞了滑道
我不知道多久沒喝到一杯像樣的蛋奶酒了
就饒了我們吧, 好嗎?
我正在幫你烤栗子, 兄弟
我們有北緯六十六度線以北最好的蛋奶酒
- 一起來玩吧 - 不行, 我們得...
別傻了
來吧, 朋友
蛋奶酒在這裡
這實在是...
此生最棒的聖誕派對
妳的意思是聖誕續攤派對吧
- 對了, 你們的打扮太讚了 - 謝謝, 我做的
不是吧!
大家快來看, 這些是他做的
這位是精靈版的聖羅蘭
看看我的舞步
我們沒有時間搞這些
(前往聖誕老人的工廠)
找到了, 那會帶我們前往工廠
這不在計畫中
妳看
好的, 牽走幾頭馴鹿之後就上路吧
等等
妳不能就這樣闖進去
馴鹿這種動物非常敏感
妳得贏得牠們的...
信任
放輕鬆
馴鹿乖喔
「猛衝者」?
你是猛衝者本尊?
你很出名耶
蘿絲, 那太不可思議了
妳驚動牠了
牠不是有意要嚇妳的
我才沒被嚇到
這給你, 小傢伙
你暖和起來了嗎?
好一點了嗎?
但我的腳有點冷
我來幫你處理
拿去, 好一點了嗎?
好多了
(計時器)
不妙, 時間快不夠用了
「技術支援」
「維修」
「保全」, 找到了
有興趣試一下比賓卡嗎?
太扯了吧
這是我這輩子吃過最棒的比賓卡
不能告訴我奶奶喔
他們人呢?
很開心你能加入我們的派對
老實說, 這不是我原本的計畫
別胡說八道了, 你們辛苦工作了一整年 聖誕老人才能夠把歡樂散播到世界
- 這是你應得的 - 康加舞!
康加舞
來啦
不要...不要
好的, 五分鐘, 我可以的
聖誕老人的工廠監視器
你在哪裡?
你在...
這是什麼狀況?
他們在跳舞?
玩得開心嗎?
並沒有
好的, 也許有一點開心吧
- 安迪, 這實在太棒了吧 - 不行, 我們得走了
掃興鬼
快點, 我們已經落後進度了
捷徑能讓我們直接抵達工廠
我還以為他們會一直玩下去
現在來關閉監視器吧
這裡應該有個總開關
他要過來了, 完了
(八號監視器)
- 你不是說這是捷徑嗎? - 相信我
直接往上走比起迂迴蜿蜒的路線快多了
但我們可說是爬了十億層階梯
其實, 這比較像...
十億層階梯
好的
大家加油, 集中註意力
工廠入口應該就在上面那裡
你為什麼停下來?
路易斯早該關閉了監視器才對
我們到工廠了, 發生了什麼事?
- 路易斯 - 有人在嗎?
我一定是幻聽了
糟了
我聯絡不上他
我們衹得靠自己處理監視器了
你的準頭是全世界最差的
我來吧
好耶, 丟得好
比你接近一些
你們兩個閉嘴
安迪、蘿瑞爾, 有什麼話想說嗎?
- 沒有 - 不用
(朵茜)
(喬恩安東尼)
那是什麼?
頑皮名單
真真切切的頑皮名單
(安迪史提爾, 坦比卡奧克克 瑪莉亞赫南得茲)
我們真的在名單上
你還好吧?
我還好
我才不在乎聖誕老人的看法
我衹想拿走遊戲主機離開這裡
我們最好快點找到地窖
實在冷斃了
好的, 蘿瑞爾
妳衹需要用體操技巧跨過峽谷
拉動槓桿昇起吊橋
如果我辦不到呢?
妳可以的
你也看過我在體育館的樣子
我甚至不能好好落地
安迪, 我不可能的
這是個天大的錯誤
沒關係
我們會想出其他辦法
其他辦法?
你說過要進去衹有這個辦法
現在突然有別的辦法了?
為什麼我們不在一開始就用那個辦法?
很抱歉
沒關係
不過我得說
我知道妳辦得到
你怎麼會知道?
蘿瑞爾, 妳無法好好落地的唯一原因
是因為被貝瑟妮影響了
妳覺得她比妳強, 但她並沒有
衹要妳一心投入的事情, 妳都很拿手
念書、藝術、體操
這是妳最棒也最惱人的特質
每個人都知道妳很優秀, 蘿瑞爾
妳為什麼要懷疑自己?
備用計畫是什麼?
等我一下, 我會想出辦法
蘿瑞爾, 妳在做什麼?
我不敢看
- 我辦到了 - 好耶
- 好耶
妳一定會進入州代表隊
幸好妳已經有隊服了
我們要怎麼進入那個東西?
安迪, 我剛剛完成了這輩子最成功的落地
拜託告訴我你知道怎麼進去
我正在想, 我不知道會有個關卡
是地窖耶, 有關卡是一定的
給我一點時間啦
又不是說曾有人闖進過聖誕老人的工廠
- 我...路易斯沒有... - 別管路易斯了
你說你一切都計劃妥當
樹上的鳥, 然後是巢裡的鳥
這些鳥是怎麼回事?
十二
等等, 我知道了
聖誕節的第一天, 我的真愛給了我
梨樹上的鷓鴣
好耶, 是《聖誕節的十二天》
厲害喔, 朵茜
搞什麼?
衹要停下來或搞錯了就得重頭來過?
那我們最好別搞錯
聖誕節的第一天, 我的真愛給了我
梨樹上的鷓鴣
快點, 你這頭蠢驢
我們沒時間窮蘑菇了
你為什麼不能是一隻狗?
沒事的, 衹是需要練習
但妳和動物好得不得了
大家總覺得我是個怪胎
但動物不會這樣
牠們不在乎我的行為、打扮和髮型
甚至也不在乎我的笑聲有點可笑
你愛牠們, 牠們就會愛你
動物不在乎你酷不酷
我覺得妳很酷
真的嗎?
妳的確怪怪的啦, 但是, 怪得很酷
怪得很酷
好了, 成功了
我真不敢相信我能駕駛飛行雪橇
我認為他們衹會為聖誕老人出馬
妳認真的嗎?
聖誕節的第四天, 我的真愛給了我
四隻鳴叫的鳥, 三隻法國母雞
兩隻斑鳩和一隻梨樹上的鷓鴣
聖誕節的第五天, 我的真愛給了我
五...
不應該在這裡
兄弟, 怎麼了?
我們把雪橇拴好了
我們準備好大鬧聖誕老人的地盤了
想都別想
狀況不妙
四隻鳴叫的鳥, 三隻法國母雞
兩隻斑鳩和一隻梨樹上的鷓鴣
聖誕節的第九天, 我的真愛給了我
跳舞的九位淑女
擠奶的八位女傭, 游泳的七隻天鵝
六隻下蛋的鵝
好消息, 我們比預期得更快修好
你的飛機可以起飛了
速度真快
你們確定你們的技師有弄好嗎?
我們能信任這傢伙嗎?
這傢伙是我們的總技師, 而她是我老婆
所以是的, 我們可以信任她
你可以離開囉
等等, 我得盤點我的貨物
- 真的假的? - 對, 沒錯
這是世界快遞的標準流程, 我該開始了
四個大盒子
三隻法國母雞, 兩隻斑鳩
和一隻梨樹上的鷓鴣
這首歌真折磨人
成功了
哈利路亞!
這個地方怎麼這麼空?
衹有給頑皮小孩的禮物會在這裡
其他的都送出去了
我們的東西一定就在這些架子上
散開, 我們得把禮物找出來
(聖誕老人送給朵茜的)
好耶
快點, 一定就在這裡的某個地方
(聖誕老人送給安迪的)
我的朋友, 你好
安迪, 你看
妳看這個
好的, 我們拿到了河允的彈力鞋 艾伯特的套鼓組
蘿絲的大蟒蛇
(聖誕老人送給貝瑟妮的)
喬恩安東尼, 你找到你的東西了嗎?
找到了
縫紉機, 酷喔
這不是普通的縫紉機, 這是PR-九八零
有內建的觸控螢幕
皕種程式化的縫紉手法和自動剪線機
可以從縫絲直接切換成縫真皮 完全不用改變針法
太棒了, 拿好這臺PR什麼鬼的, 我們走吧
喬恩安東尼, 怎麼了嗎?
好的, 真心話時間
我在做精靈偽裝服之前 我從未真正設計過任何東西
那喬恩安東尼原創是怎麼回事?
全都是騙人的, 我模仿別人的設計
我甚至不確定是否能夠設計出自己的作品
那「我是喬恩安東尼」 這個招牌又是怎樣?
我無法阻止我天生的霸氣投射出的自信
但現在我知道了 我真的能夠做出原創作品
我衹是想讓你們知道在我成名之後
你們都可以打九五折
僅限折扣品
走了啦
河允, 慢一點
我們應該要低調一點
我以為這就算低調了
時間抓得真準
聖誕老人, 我們有麻煩了
我們被識破了
我們還沒被抓到
河允, 出發
- 好的, 下面那裡 - 我的天啊...救命啊
快點, 動作快
跟著我
快點, 這裡
不妙了
(恭喜又過了另一個成功的聖誕節)
好耶, 快衝
妳知道計畫是要讓我們活著逃出去吧?
坐穩了, 好好享受這趟行程
你們擅闖了神話土地
從雪橇上下來, 把手舉起來
大家抓緊
停下來...停下來
停下來, 喂, 停下來
讚透了
快點, 他們要逃走了, 快追
讓開
我會試著拖慢他們的速度
- 朵茜, 妳可以的 - 快點, 加油, 妳可以的
好耶
立刻停下來
對, 最好是啦
走開
- 河允, 妳在做什麼? - 想辦法讓我們逃出去
我想我快吐了
那裡
好耶
都怪我
- 後退...後退 - 為什麼?
- 我們被包圍了 - 無路可去
- 搞什... - 路易斯
- 路易斯
- 快點, 路易斯
小心
大家都沒事嗎?
路易斯
快點
你救了我們
那是不小心的
我們之後再說起這個故事時 我們會說是你救了我們
- 快點, 走了, 走了 - 不...不, 快點...快點
我們去接艾伯特
- 快追 - 快追
好的
為什麼讓我等這麼久?
我們辦到了
就連聖誕老人也阻擋不了聖誕特攻隊
我們真的辦到了
- 有人想來一張搶劫成功的自拍嗎? - 好耶
- 妳怎麼會有這個? - 從地窖裡拿的
妳偷來的?
不, 我應得的
讓我們進入地窖的不是貝瑟妮, 是我
你說得對, 安迪
我們沒有被抓到, 這有什麼關係?
感覺好好喔
像得到一支新手機一樣
好的, 大家來吧
一百五十一個黃色信封
一百五十二個黃色信封
這兩份黏在一起了
先生, 該走了
天啊
好耶
可惡, 他要棄我們而去了
什麼?
- 你在做什麼? - 我儘量拖延時間了
他們非常堅持要我走
我們得登上飛機
布魯諾, 把門打開 我會載大家到靠近門口的地方跳上機
什麼?妳是認真的?那是個很精準的動作
- 那又怎樣? - 妳的口頭禪是「都怪我」
各位, 我可以的
好, 你們衹有一分鐘不到的時間 然後我就要起飛了
快點
加快速度
就快到了
- 快點, 很接近了 - 開始, 朵茜
我可以的
- 好耶, 我辦到了 - 好耶, 艾伯特, 快點上去
快點, 艾伯特, 把手給我
你們可以快點跳上來嗎?
- 好耶 - 快點, 快點
快點, 喬恩安東尼
快點, 孩子們, 快點
輪到你了, 安迪
- 快點 - 加油
- 你在做什麼? - 妳去
我負責把東西丟上機, 然後我再跟上去
但是...
這次的搶劫是我的主意
我要留到最後
快點, 安迪
- 安迪, 快點 - 趁現在
- 安迪 - 安迪, 快點
- 快點 - 安迪, 跳上來
- 安迪 - 安迪
- 安迪, 不行啊 - 安迪, 什麼?
- 不行, 你在做什麼? - 不行啊
安迪在幹嘛?
現在到底是什麼狀況?
我們逃出來了
為什麼妳弟弟要這樣對我們?
我不知道, 但我們不能放著他不管
我們得回去
我很狂野, 但不至於那麼狂野
如果我們回去了, 肯定會被抓
一點道理都沒有
這是他的計畫
他為什麼要在最後一秒放棄?
誰在乎他為什麼要這樣?我不會拋下他
朵茜, 但他背叛了我們
妳也得不到妳的弓了
- 那個弓從來就不是重點 - 不是嗎?
我在一個充滿雙胞胎的家庭裡排名中間
除了我之外, 每個人都有伴
安迪就是我的伴
如果他想打電動, 我就會打電動
如果他想要佔領北極, 我也會這麼做
他是我最好的朋友, 我不會拋棄他
你想見聖誕老人是嗎?
他就在這裡
安迪史提爾
我為什麼一點都不驚訝?
真的是你
其他人都逃走了, 聖誕老人
但至少我們抓到了這一個
我知道事情看起來很糟糕, 確實是很糟糕
看起來就是你想的那樣
但現在沒事了, 因為我把東西全帶回來了
所以, 我們沒事囉, 對吧?
我和你?
聖誕老人?
我們沒事吧?
(頑皮名單)
(艾伯特雷斯, 朵茜古提雷斯 蘿瑞爾史提爾, 安迪史提爾)
(始河允, 喬恩安東尼迪桑 蘿絲溫格特, 路易斯索邦)
不...不行, 你不能懲罰我的朋友
聽好, 這都是我的主意
你可以一輩子把我放在頑皮名單上
但請原諒他們
這是你真正想要的嗎?
其實...
不是
但這是我應得的
(蘿瑞爾史提爾, 安迪史提爾)
你在做什麼? 為什麼我姊的名字還在上面?
少了一個東西
手機
手機?
聖誕老人, 那不是她的錯
她是個乖孩子
你見到聖誕老人了
該走囉
我發誓, 我會解決這件事, 我會拿到手機
我再也不在乎這個東西了
你可以把它留下來
看看我發現了誰想偷偷溜回來
我的天
快走
你們不是回來拿禮物的吧?
我們是因為你而回來的
你並沒有在森林裡迷路, 對吧?
我今年八歲
我一個人跑來北極做什麼?
你為什麼要這麼做?
因為妳
說服你們來到這裡是個天大的錯誤
我找了一群最優秀的人 讓你們跟我一樣變得調皮搗蛋
各位, 我很抱歉
我一直認為衹要我沒被抓到
我就沒有做錯任何事
那不是真的
如果我們值得擁有這些禮物
聖誕老人一開始就會送給我們
我很抱歉, 聖誕老人
我想我一時被沖昏頭了
我弟弟非常會說服人
對, 沒錯
- 所以她不在名單上了, 對吧? - 還在
但頑皮名單是這個樣子的
你想要的話, 隨時都可以被除名
你每天都有機會選擇要成為什麼樣的人
你不用改變自己
衹需要把自己的力量用來做好事 而不是用來搗蛋
你們認為你們辦得到嗎?
安迪?
我想我可以
我想這麼做
答應我你會試試看
我會試試看
我想你們該回家了
我不希望你們的父母擔心
- 不會啦, 他們... - 不會的
- 肯定不會
聖誕老人
方便和你來張自拍嗎?
我公司的同事都是大渾球
當然可以, 布魯諾
謝謝
呵...呵
這次的搶劫實在再完美也不過
- 你瘋了嗎? - 拜託喔
怎樣啦?好啦 事情的進展沒有按照計畫走
但我覺得結果似乎就該是這樣
謝謝你們為了我回來
你是我的夥伴
希望不會給妳帶來太多麻煩
拜託喔, 他們根本不知道我不在家
- 朵茜, 妳跑去哪裡了? - 我們擔心死了
她回來了
我想他們發現我不在家了
快過來
我真的是你見過最優秀的人?
我就知道我會自討苦吃
不是啦, 我一直都認為 我是你見過最優秀的人
但聽你大聲說出來感覺真好
妳最壞了
看看是誰回來了
我和貝瑟妮真正的媽說上話了
蘿瑞爾, 妳去了哪裡?
我被選上了, 要表演給
總統看
蘿瑞爾, 住口
感謝老天爺
媽、爸, 事實是這樣的
我、蘿瑞爾、朵茜和一群孩子 跟爸的公司借了一架飛機
飛往北極 我們就可以溜進聖誕老人的地窖
蘿瑞爾根本不想去 每一秒都讓她厭惡至極
安迪, 那不是真的
對, 我並不討厭
那是我這輩子最開心的一晚
我真的很開心我去了
我也很開心妳來了
你們真的認為我們會相信...
誰在乎是真是假?
他們竟然好好相處了
(一年後)
(葛里斯伍德中學)
(祝各位寒假愉快)
真不敢相信現在才上到第三堂課
我之前說過了, 我要再說一次
寒假的前一天?
一年當中最長的一天
安迪史提爾, 請至校長室報到
- 史密斯先生要找你 - 他有麻煩了
- 你做了什麼? - 我什麼都沒做
我一整年都超乖的
校長, 我想先說一句話 不管你認為我做了什麼, 那都不是真的
我知道我以前惡名昭彰, 但是...
聖誕老人?你在這裡做什麼?
安迪, 我的時間不多, 我需要你的幫忙
我有麻煩了
我需要聖誕特攻隊